it’s friday. I’m home.

it’s the one day I open. which I love. cause then I’m home before the sun goes down. and then I’m in pajamas and forgo my bra by 4 pm.

and now I am having a heated debate with myself cause I actually get that rare text from a friend asking me if I want to do something tonight. alcohol costs money and I’d have to put a bra on. and clothes. but my mom is talking about refusing a bone marrow transplant (we found out she had a couple donors two days ago), and  basically not fighting leukemia anymore and being able to hold our pets and garden and not be sicker than she was with chemo and not spending a month or two in the hospital. which would make it a much more enjoyable summer for her… and then she’ll be gone sooner than I would like and I’d have to actually face my fears and denial and realize that my mom probably isn’t going to meet my first boyfriend, let alone be at my wedding.

so I could use a drink right now. and maybe I convince us to go see avengers in 3d hella late. cause I really want to see avengers.

or I could save my money and keep crying while listening to lana del rey and some worship music that I just can’t relate to right now. and eat a third brownie and a third helping of homemade mac and cheese.

decisions, decisions.

1 year ago 4 notes